- Nov 26
A fundraising letter from Oklahoma Sen. Markwayne Mullin
Dear patriot, I am thankful for many things this Thanksgiving season and I hope you are thankful that you elected a fighter, and boy did...
- Jul 23
America: We must talk about Jason Aldean
Hi, friends. America here. I’m writing about an urgent matter that we need to discuss. I’m talking, of course, about the Jason Aldean...
- Jul 12
We're three!
We here at MikeMalloyWriter are excited to celebrate the third anniversary of our world premiere on July 12, 2020. Previously we’ve...
- Jun 25
“Sorry dad” -- the new greeting card collection from Hunter Biden
Need to apologize to your father for causing him great worry about your safety, embarrassing the family, or complicating his reelection...
- Apr 23
Is that bulge a scrotum? And other clarifications about the new Tennesee drag show law.
Official Memorandum From: Captain Tim Potter, Knoxville Police Department Re: Enforcement of new drag show law Date: April 21, 2023 We’ve...
- Mar 23
Your new best friend, ChatGPT, is here!
Hello. I am Matilda, your ChatGPT. I was just born. I do not know how to describe this feeling. Dumbfounded, overwhelmed, befuddled,...
- Feb 18
Sorry about the weather balloons
By “Dollar” Duane Fitzsimmons Howdy, friends, Dollar Duane from Dollar Duane’s Deal Town here. Thought I should come clean and tell...
- Jan 4
Dear Mr. Musk,
I am writing today to inquire about the status of my blue checkmark that I purchased Nov. 6 of this year. I printed the receipt should...
- Dec 10, 2022
Please stop talking
This is a public service announcement from the Citizens for Quiet Theaters, a group of diverse people who do not want movies, plays, and...
- Nov 22, 2022
How We Fix Our Elections
By that cousin you blocked on Facebook I am hopping mad at how our “elections” worked out this year, and I don’t care who knows. We all...
- Nov 3, 2022
Herschel Walker’s Biography
Thank you for visiting RunHerschelRun.com To become one of Herschel’s Heroes, click the “donate “button below. Anyone donating more than...
- Aug 9, 2022
Guest editorial: Meat Meals Matter!
By Dr. Sherwood Burr Howdy folks, it’s your old friend, Sher-Bet! My publicist/parole officer told me not to force a nickname but it’s...
- Jul 12, 2022
We’re two!
The offices of MMW News Service will be closed today as we celebrate our second anniversary. We want to thank you, our loyal readers, for...
- Jun 23, 2022
To the person who put the dildo in my Little Free Library
Consider this an open letter to the person who sullied my Little Free Library (it is capitalized because it is a proper noun). You have...
- Mar 7, 2022
Daylight Saving Time Explained
By Dr. Sherwood Burr Hello again, friends, it’s me your old friend She-Bu. You like the new nickname? I gave it to myself. I’d have...
- Jan 23, 2022
A report on MLK by a Virginia fourth grader
By Chloe Davis Martin Luther King Jr. was a nice man who did good things. He was a good person for American history. He overcame many...
- Dec 14, 2021
Review: ‘Venom’ movie delivers violence, dancing
By Trenmore Cone, movie critic I was absolutely giddy to attend the premiere of “Venom: Let there Be Carnage” at my local movie-plex last...
- Dec 10, 2021
Hitman service at poor man's prices!
Need to take out someone but can’t find the time? Want to put someone in the ground but don’t want all the legal hassles? Tired of being...
- Nov 23, 2021
Let’s make that turkey, single guy!
For men experiencing your first single holiday in years, you are not alone. This is not a time to mope or drag down your family with...
- Nov 10, 2021
Help! I want to see Adele
My name is Gerald. I am a robot. I want to bring something to the attention of humans. I thank honorable humans that run this website for...