- Jan 4
Dear Mr. Musk,
I am writing today to inquire about the status of my blue checkmark that I purchased Nov. 6 of this year. I printed the receipt should...
- Dec 10, 2022
Please stop talking
This is a public service announcement from the Citizens for Quiet Theaters, a group of diverse people who do not want movies, plays, and...
- Nov 22, 2022
How We Fix Our Elections
By that cousin you blocked on Facebook I am hopping mad at how our “elections” worked out this year, and I don’t care who knows. We all...
- Nov 3, 2022
Herschel Walker’s Biography
Thank you for visiting RunHerschelRun.com To become one of Herschel’s Heroes, click the “donate “button below. Anyone donating more than...
- Aug 9, 2022
Guest editorial: Meat Meals Matter!
By Dr. Sherwood Burr Howdy folks, it’s your old friend, Sher-Bet! My publicist/parole officer told me not to force a nickname but it’s...
- Jul 12, 2022
We’re two!
The offices of MMW News Service will be closed today as we celebrate our second anniversary. We want to thank you, our loyal readers, for...
- Jun 23, 2022
To the person who put the dildo in my Little Free Library
Consider this an open letter to the person who sullied my Little Free Library (it is capitalized because it is a proper noun). You have...
- Mar 7, 2022
Daylight Saving Time Explained
By Dr. Sherwood Burr Hello again, friends, it’s me your old friend She-Bu. You like the new nickname? I gave it to myself. I’d have...
- Jan 23, 2022
A report on MLK by a Virginia fourth grader
By Chloe Davis Martin Luther King Jr. was a nice man who did good things. He was a good person for American history. He overcame many...
- Dec 14, 2021
Review: ‘Venom’ movie delivers violence, dancing
By Trenmore Cone, movie critic I was absolutely giddy to attend the premiere of “Venom: Let there Be Carnage” at my local movie-plex last...
- Dec 10, 2021
Hitman service at poor man's prices!
Need to take out someone but can’t find the time? Want to put someone in the ground but don’t want all the legal hassles? Tired of being...
- Nov 23, 2021
Let’s make that turkey, single guy!
For men experiencing your first single holiday in years, you are not alone. This is not a time to mope or drag down your family with...
- Nov 10, 2021
Help! I want to see Adele
My name is Gerald. I am a robot. I want to bring something to the attention of humans. I thank honorable humans that run this website for...
- Oct 28, 2021
The KC Chiefs are undefeated
By Donald Trump My fellow Americans. It’s Your favorite President of ALL TIME – and soon to be again, we’re working on it, trust me –...
- Oct 6, 2021
Guest editorial: Trusts explained
By Dr. Sherwood Burr The release of the Pandora Papers has caused millions of Americans to think: Pandora, that’d be a great name for a...
- Aug 26, 2021
Annual meeting of the Bureau of Weights and Measures a hoot
My fellow weights and measurers, Information Director Dan here, giving you a report on the 2021 Federal Bureau of Weights and Measures...
- Jul 13, 2021
We're One Year Old!!!!!
Mike Malloy Writer debuted on this date one year ago, clearly the most significant development of 2020. Our staff would like to celebrate...
- Jul 7, 2021
Going in? Tips to help ease back into social life
Reconnecting with people in person is a minefield. We here at MMW News Service offer some helpful advice as you return to in-person...
- Jun 30, 2021
See an alien? Chat with the FBI now!
In response to recently declassified documents showing unexplained aerial phenomenon, the Federal Bureau of Investigations is reaching...
- Jun 21, 2021
Dear Donald advice column debuts
Following up on the incredible success of his blog, President Donald J Trump (only Democrats and the Deep State call him “former”) will...