

Norway’s election disruption operation goes unnoticed
Oslo—Deep inside an undisclosed location in Norway’s capital, the mood was grim Wednesday. Despite their best efforts at political...
Nov 1, 2020


Dad upset by son's abstinence
Boone, Ia.—Gary Sweeney reported Tuesday that he is becoming increasingly distraught over his son Kyle’s virginity. Kyle, 17, recently...
Oct 29, 2020


Kristen Welker keeps the mute button
Nashville, Tn.—After a widely praised performance as moderator in Thursday’s presidential debate, Kristen Welker has refused to give up...
Oct 25, 2020


Forever 21 Months, for mature fashionistas who wish they were babies
Does 2020 have you down? Wishing the despair and hostility would go away and you could return to a simpler time? Now you can with...
Oct 20, 2020


MMW News Classic: MLB's impotency faker
MMW News Service has a proud tradition of uncovering the stories others are afraid to, and we're sharing our sterling history in a our...
Oct 17, 2020


Haunted house goes out of business. “I can’t compete with reality,” owner says.
Melrose, Ia.—Jerry McCormack has been scaring children and adults each October for 22 years at his farm just outside his hometown in...
Oct 13, 2020


Man calls 911 about missing highlighter
Des Moines, Ia.—A recent outbreak of Covid-19 forced the Principal Financial Group to close its supply room for a week, the company...
Oct 10, 2020


Doctor says Trump definitely doesn't have black plague, dengue fever, and a host of other illnesses
Washington D.C.--After President Donald Trump returned to the White House on Monday night after being hospitalized with Covid-19, Dr....
Oct 6, 2020


Georgia senator blames China, secret service, Mongols, others for Trump illness
Atlanta—Georgia Sen. Kelly Loeffler, locked in a tight reelection battle, took to social media to blame China for causing President...
Oct 2, 2020


Trump preps for debate
With Jared Kushner posing as Joe Biden and Ivanka Trump as debate moderator, President Donald Trump prepared for his debate tonight with...
Sep 29, 2020


Just headlines
For the on-the-go reader, MMW News Service gives you headlines for stories we were too tired to write: Older man likes wearing brown...
Sep 23, 2020


NSA listening to your calls and your heart
MMW News Service recently uncovered evidence that the National Security Agency has been not only monitoring phone calls but following the...
Sep 17, 2020


Man won’t shut up about new Charlie Kaufman movie
Tulsa, Okla.—Friends of David Krause say they’ve reached the end of their rope. A week after watching the movie “I’m Thinking of Ending...
Sep 15, 2020


Woman unwittingly buys racist GPS
St. Louis—Gretchen Sands had heard the complaints of her adult children for many years. “Mom, you’re the last person on earth without a...
Sep 2, 2020


Man can’t remove lurid bumper sticker
Waterloo, Ia.—Kyle Larson loves everything his new SUV, except for the bumper sticker. Larson, 28, picked up a gray 2012 Range Rover...
Aug 27, 2020


Mask burnings an a cast you won't believe highlight RNC schedule
The Republican National Committee tweeted its schedule for its national convention Sunday. Monday Theme: Finish the wall! Rock band 3...
Aug 23, 2020


OH SHIT! Many newspapers now using vulgarities in headlines
Chapel Hill, NC—The Daily Tar Teel, the student newspaper at the University of North Carolina, shocked many Tuesday when it described, in...
Aug 21, 2020


Nebraska celebrates first Big 10 title
LINCOLN, NE—The shouts of “Go Big Red” echoed off tall buildings Sunday in downtown Lincoln as the Nebraska Cornhuskers football team...
Aug 16, 2020


Foreskins it is!
WASHINGTON--The Washington Foreskins are ready for some football. The NFL franchise in the nation's capital unveiled a new, surprising...
Aug 14, 2020


Trump demands Scrabble ban naughty words
SPRINGFIELD, MA—The White House pressured the North American Scrabble Association Wednesday to ban additional words that some...
Aug 10, 2020