Chapel Hill, NC—The Daily Tar Teel, the student newspaper at the University of North Carolina, shocked many Tuesday when it described, in print, multiple outbreaks of Covid-19 on campus as a “clusterfuck.”
Webster’s Dictionary defines the term as:
1. A complex and utterly disordered and mismanaged situation
2. Everything that’s happened in 2020
The move has touched off a wave of obscene headlines across the country. A sampling:
Chicago Sun-Times, Big 10 cancellation gives players, fans a big reach around
Washington Times, Editorial: We’ll be catastrophucked if Biden wins
Cedar Rapids Gazette, Derecho takes greasy dump on Iowa
Dayton Daily News, Health dept. serves food trucks a shit kebab
Denver Post, “Cock Goblin” highlights new Halloween costumes
Liberty University News, President Falwell takes leave of absence, gosh darn it
Arizona Daily Star, State fair cancelled, 2020 Tucson Turdfest debuts
Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, President’s postal piss pounding perplexes Pittsburghers
Omaha World-Herald, Huskers stuck, fucked, and outta luck
Miami Herald, local bureaucrat puts the ass in assessor
The Oklahoman, Trump cock blocks Tik Tok
The Topeka Times, Balls balls balls*
* This was a mistake. Actual headline was supposed to be: “Governor tours Spalding plant” but the copy editor put in the offensive headline as a placeholder and forgot to remove it. The staffer was fired the next day and the newspaper reported “Headline writer shit-canned over ‘balls, balls, balls’ headline.” That person was fired which led to another story: “No balls but two sack(ing)s” which caused the writer, her boss, the assistant news editor and the managing editor to be fired. All that was announced under the headline “Less dum dums more scrotums”. The Topeka Times closed the following day.