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OH SHIT! Many newspapers now using vulgarities in headlines

Chapel Hill, NC—The Daily Tar Teel, the student newspaper at the University of North Carolina, shocked many Tuesday when it described, in print, multiple outbreaks of Covid-19 on campus as a “clusterfuck.”

Webster’s Dictionary defines the term as:

1. A complex and utterly disordered and mismanaged situation

2. Everything that’s happened in 2020

The move has touched off a wave of obscene headlines across the country. A sampling:

Chicago Sun-Times, Big 10 cancellation gives players, fans a big reach around

Washington Times, Editorial: We’ll be catastrophucked if Biden wins

Cedar Rapids Gazette, Derecho takes greasy dump on Iowa

Dayton Daily News, Health dept. serves food trucks a shit kebab

Denver Post, “Cock Goblin” highlights new Halloween costumes

Liberty University News, President Falwell takes leave of absence, gosh darn it

Arizona Daily Star, State fair cancelled, 2020 Tucson Turdfest debuts

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, President’s postal piss pounding perplexes Pittsburghers

Omaha World-Herald, Huskers stuck, fucked, and outta luck

Miami Herald, local bureaucrat puts the ass in assessor

The Oklahoman, Trump cock blocks Tik Tok

The Topeka Times, Balls balls balls*

* This was a mistake. Actual headline was supposed to be: “Governor tours Spalding plant” but the copy editor put in the offensive headline as a placeholder and forgot to remove it. The staffer was fired the next day and the newspaper reported “Headline writer shit-canned over ‘balls, balls, balls’ headline.” That person was fired which led to another story: “No balls but two sack(ing)s” which caused the writer, her boss, the assistant news editor and the managing editor to be fired. All that was announced under the headline “Less dum dums more scrotums”. The Topeka Times closed the following day.


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