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Georgia senator blames China, secret service, Mongols, others for Trump illness

Atlanta—Georgia Sen. Kelly Loeffler, locked in a tight reelection battle, took to social media to blame China for causing President Donald Trump to contract Covid-19.

“Remember: China gave this virus to our President @realDonaldTrump and First Lady @FLOTUS,” she said Friday on social media. “WE MUST HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE.”

Later in the day, after a campaign event at a fireworks and flag factory, she clarified to reporters that China wasn’t alone in bearing responsibility for our national crisis.

“Of course China is to blame. That’s where it started, but it goes much deeper than that. The Secret Service is supposed to protect the president. They should have seen those droplets coming and smacked them out of the air,” she said, making a swiping motion with right hand. “And I hate to break the 11th Commandment and speak ill of another Republican, but President Nixon bears some responsibility for normalizing relationship with them and opening the door to this virus half-a-century later. That was the biggest mistake of his presidency.”

The senator and insider trading hobbyist also blamed another U.S. president – Jimmy Carter – for appearing in a photo with former People’s Republic Leader Deng Xiaopeng and for not demanding that China adopted looser gun regulation.

“If Tank Man had been armed there wouldn’t have been any of that Tianamen Square business,” Loeffler said.

Mao Zedong, the former communist leader who ruled China from 1949 to 1976, also bears some responsibility because his disastrous “Great Leap Forward” made Americans so sad that they had no choice but to invade Vietnam.

“And don’t even get me started on the Mongols,” Loeffler said. “If only they’d not figured out how to get around the Great Wall we’d have one ourselves!”

Loeffler continued speaking after reporters left.


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