

Let’s make that turkey, single guy!
For men experiencing your first single holiday in years, you are not alone. This is not a time to mope or drag down your family with...
Nov 23, 2021


Help! I want to see Adele
My name is Gerald. I am a robot. I want to bring something to the attention of humans. I thank honorable humans that run this website for...
Nov 10, 2021


The KC Chiefs are undefeated
By Donald Trump My fellow Americans. It’s Your favorite President of ALL TIME – and soon to be again, we’re working on it, trust me –...
Oct 28, 2021


Guest editorial: Trusts explained
By Dr. Sherwood Burr The release of the Pandora Papers has caused millions of Americans to think: Pandora, that’d be a great name for a...
Oct 6, 2021


Annual meeting of the Bureau of Weights and Measures a hoot
My fellow weights and measurers, Information Director Dan here, giving you a report on the 2021 Federal Bureau of Weights and Measures...
Aug 26, 2021


We're One Year Old!!!!!
Mike Malloy Writer debuted on this date one year ago, clearly the most significant development of 2020. Our staff would like to celebrate...
Jul 13, 2021


Going in? Tips to help ease back into social life
Reconnecting with people in person is a minefield. We here at MMW News Service offer some helpful advice as you return to in-person...
Jul 7, 2021


See an alien? Chat with the FBI now!
In response to recently declassified documents showing unexplained aerial phenomenon, the Federal Bureau of Investigations is reaching...
Jun 30, 2021


Dear Donald advice column debuts
Following up on the incredible success of his blog, President Donald J Trump (only Democrats and the Deep State call him “former”) will...
Jun 21, 2021


A couple things about your new house
We at Tingler and Sons are proud to present to Gwen Middleton of 1335 Winslow St. your house inspection report. Congratulations on your...
Jun 5, 2021


Guest editorial: Non-fungible tokens explained
By Dr. Sherwood Burr “What’s an NFT?” It’s one of the most common questions I’ve been asked lately, right up there with “Are you gonna...
May 20, 2021


A few words from the ghost that haunts your new house
Hi, I’m Lloyd, and I’ve been haunting your new home since I was murdered in the master bedroom in 1954. To be fair, I had it coming. Even...
Apr 5, 2021


CPAC 2021: Lights, Camera, Reactionaries!
Welcome to the 2021 Conservative Political Action Committee’s 2021 annual meeting! We’re excited you have joined us at the Jewish...
Feb 25, 2021


What does this rose mean?
A rose by any other name…but what about any other color? Did you get a rose this Valentine’s Day and are unsure what it means? We all...
Feb 13, 2021


Guest Editorial: Short selling explained
By Dr. Sherwood Burr Welcome to the exciting world of short selling! It’s a topic that my colleagues and I at the Brookings Institute (a...
Feb 1, 2021


Goop customer service message board
I ordered your Dirty Professor vibrator – guaranteed to give me an a, A, A! The ad said it was like the real thing, and, yes, it worked...
Jan 12, 2021


Welcome to Your New, Scrotum-Equipped Body
You’ve completed your gender transition and are now a man. Your doctor has explained the medical aspects of your new body, but this...
Nov 30, 2020


Trump presidential library now open!
Tired of stodgy presidential libraries with their trove of historic papers and exhibits? Well leave it to norm-shattering President...
Nov 15, 2020


Guest Editorial: Bitcoin explained
By Sherwood Burr, PhD I’m sure you’ve heard of Bitcoin by now, but what is it exactly? It’s one of the more common questions I get from...
Sep 9, 2020


People I’d least like to talk to
1. Job, because I’d be afraid I’d reflexively ask “How ya doin’?” 2. The first person to refer to their outfit as an “ensembles”. 3. My...
Sep 6, 2020