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Trump musical not at all based on “Hamilton”

New York—Playwright Chuck Caldwell insists that his new musical “Trump” is in no way a rip-off of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s “Hamilton”.

“I heard something about it. Maybe a buddy said something, but, like, no, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Caldwell said.

Caldwell’s play features a number of songs that seem to contradict that claim. One song entitled “Dad’s Shot” includes the line, “I’m old, fat, and horny, and very much purloin-y, and s’all ‘cause I got dad’s shot.” Another talks about a younger Trump’s four-way with Stormy Daniels and her sisters, Angelica and Peggy, called “Why Would I Say No to This?”

Early in Act II, Don Jr. challenges Chuck Schumer to a duel. Don Jr. then pays a hobo $1,000 to take his place. The duel never happens as the hobo runs off with the money, and the pearl-handled revolver some African prince gave Don Jr. on a hunting trip, and Schumer doesn’t show up because he doesn’t believe in guns. Still, Don Jr. claims it as a win. Later, a mournful Trump laments his defeat with a soulfully singing, “Who lives, who dies, who cast these fake votes in Philadelphia?”

“We’re rehearsing over Zoom right now,” Caldwell said. “As soon as Broadway reopens, we want to be ready, because in 2021 what the people want is more Trump!”

In the final scene, Trump, spurned by the electorate and residents of Mar-A-Lago, he and Melania retire to a quiet place uptown where they spend their final days living through the unintelligible.


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