Lincoln, NE—Nebraska-based film buff Robert Wellington watched in horror Sunday night as “Anora” took home five Academy Awards, including Best Picture. The independent film beat out many other well-respected movies.
“’Conclave’ is a masterpiece. ‘Nickel Boys’ was made by a genuine auteur, and ‘The Brutalist’ harkens back to an age of true cinema,” Wellington said. “’Anora’ is just sweaty young people doing dumb stuff.”
Wellington, 53, has seen nearly ever Best Picture in his lifetime, save for 2003’s “Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.”
“I refuse to watch orcs,” Wellington said.
Mikey Madison – the lead of “Anora” – won for Best Actress in a Leading Role, while director Sean Baker took home the awards for Best Director and Best Editing. The film also won Best Original Screenplay.
The movie is about a sex worker who meets up with a young man with a lot of money. They spend the movie yelling a lot, and…well, this reporter didn’t see it either, but that’s what was in the preview.
“Ah, the preview. Let’s put two young people in an Alfa Romeo going 100 down a crowded city street. Between them is a half-empty bag of cocaine, and chasing them is the Russian mafia. They crash the car into a harbor, wash up on shore, and then immediately fornicate,” Wellington said. “Send that off to IMDB for a plot summary.”
Wellington, who blogs about movies at his GeoCities website Wellington’sFlimVault.com, must now make a difficult decision – double the number of Best Picture winners he hasn’t seen, or lower himself to sit through “Anora”.
“Damn you, Sean Baker, how dare you try to get me to like something,” he said.
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