They did what?

A recent ABC News/Washington Post poll, conducted in states which have enacted strict abortion laws since 2020, found that 44 percent of residents there were unaware of such laws.


In an effort to educate the public, MMW News Service researched other recently enacted state laws that may have eluded public attention:


· Guns can now vote in Texas, though the owner is required to mark the ballot by shooting it. Each voter is allowed up to three misfires.


· Ben and Jerry’s “Chubby Hubby” ice cream is now considered a vegetable for school lunch purposes in Vermont. It also can be substituted for a local anesthetic.


· North Dakota briefly seceded from the union last month. It really didn’t want to, it was just tired of being ignored. The state agreed to return if the other 49 states would just put down their phone when it’s trying to talk.


· Alabama declared Jan. 6 a state holiday, replacing MLK Day.


· Cartoon mice can no longer say the words “racial justice” “gay” or “gerrymandering” in Florida.


· Iowa changed its state motto from “Our Liberties We Prize, Our Rights We Will Maintain” to “You Gonna Eat the Last Corn Dog?”


· Gay couples can now adopt children in Nebraska but are required to post a sign in their front yard reading: “Bible-hating sodomite lives here.”


· In an effort to avoid federal law allowing transgendered Americans to use the bathroom of their choice, South Carolina closed all public restrooms. In a related story, park rangers and street sweepers resigned en masse.


· A group of hipsters hijacked a contest to redesign Maryland’s flag – an all-white background with “FLAG” in black letters – and after the Legislature rescinded the contest, a group of teenage hackers replaced the image of the outgoing state flag with one of a crab taking a dump on Baltimore on the state’s official website. Gov. Larry Hogan issued an executive order to restore the previous flag but those clicking on the video link were shown Rick Astley singing “Never Gonna Give You Up.”


· Drivers on the Ohio turnpike can now bypass toll booths if they display a bumper sticker reading: “Trump won, bigly.” Stickers are available for free with the purchase of a My Pillow.

0 comments

Recent Posts

See All