Ever since the retro sci-fi series “Stranger Things” caused Kate Bush’s “Running up that Hill” and Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” to be unlikely hits in the summer of 2022, numerous well-worn pop stars have approached the show creators Matt and Ross Duffer.
“I need that ST Bump,” said the artist formerly known as Taco. “For legal reasons I can’t call myself…you know, because I sold the name to a guy who has a food truck in Anaheim. Anyway, here’s my pitch: The kids get into a real bad situation and they’re being chased by that one bad guy and they only way out is to sing ‘A Version of Puttin’ on the Ritz from the 1980s.’ Also, for legal reasons I can’t call my most famous song by its well-known title because of an ongoing dispute with the estate of Fred Astaire.”
“Hard pass,” Matt Duffer said in response. “He really thought Ell and the kids were going to escape Vecna while wearing top hats and spats.”
Other pitches met similar fates. Murray Head, who’s hit song “One Night in Bangkok” was allowed to happen, was also turned down.
“You look at any globe, and what is the geographical opposite of Hawkins, Indiana? Bangkok, Thailand!” Head’s agent Ernest Fuffnickle said. “They could just go through a portal to the underneath world and, bam, they’re right there! This stuff practically writes itself.”
While many 80s stars were turned down, a few were able to meet with the Duffers.
“I thought we were talking with Eide Falco, who I love, but it was the guy who did ‘Rock Me Amadeus’,” Matt Duffer said. “Then it turns out that guy died a long time ago and it was just a Falco impersonator. I give him credit; he did really look like Falco…if he walked around in that hairdo from the video and hadn’t aged in the last 40 years.”
The Duffers have been coy about possible musical inclusions in next season’s “Stranger Things” though show star Millie Bobby Brown may have inadvertently revealed as much in a Twitter post Monday.