AN ABANDONED STUCKEY’S ON I-10 BETWEEN NEW ORLEANS AND HOUSTON — The long-awaited 2020 summer Olympics are set to begin Friday in Tokyo, but, for many QAnon adherents, the Games took place last year as scheduled.
Since the Covid-19 pandemic has been a vast fraud, the theory goes, the Olympics were held as normal. A QAnon leader, known as Vigilant Eagle, said he could prove it, and agreed to meet with a MMW News Service reporter at a shuttered Stuckey’s near the Texas-Louisiana border.
“I used to come to this place all the time, now look at it,” he said, noting the partially collapsed roof and cobwebs. “It’s a shame what Joe Biden is doing to our country.”
When the reporter noted that the restaurant closed in 2018, long before Biden was president, Vigilant Eagle responded, “That’s how bad he is!”
Vigilant Eagle, or “Vigie” as friends call him, took various security measures, like covering the booth in a large sheet of aluminum foil (“Tinfoil ain’t for shit,” he said) and repeatedly asking if the reporter came alone. After many assurances, he continued.
“The Olympics took place, and ESPN was there to film the whole thing. They’re going to show it this week and pretend it’s live,” he said. (Reporter’s Note: The Games are airing on NBC but this reporter didn’t bother to quibble with the source)
He produced a DVD – all white, no label – and inserted it into a laptop he’d purchased just for the occasion.
“I got this at Gold, Gold, and More Gold Pawn Shop right down the street from where I live…I mean, right down the street from nothing in particular,” Vigilant Eagle said.
The first track on the DVD showed grainy footage of a swimming event involving what appeared to be American Mark Spitz, who won seven gold medals at the 1972 Olympics.
“Of course, it looks old, this had to be smuggled into and out of the venue or the person would have been killed,” Vigilant Eagle said. “They didn’t have time to make it look nice.”
The interview stopped so Vigilant Eagle could lift the aluminum foil to get some oxygen, which had depleted over the course of the discussion. The reporter started to ask a question, but Vigilant Eagle interrupted, “Not ‘til we’re back under the security dome.”
After three minutes of silence, Vigilant Eagle again secured the aluminum foil to the booth with zip ties and continued.
“Just wait ‘til you see this, smart guy,” he said.
The second track on the DVD showed still images of an American basketball player.
“That’s LeBron James right there dunking on some guy from Australia, and it says ‘Tokyo 2020’ on the floor,” he said.
The person depicted was actually American basketball star Damien Lillard, and the photo was clearly a screen cap from a video game.
The reporter decided to walk away at that point leaving the Stuckey’s seconds before Vigilant Eagle was vaporized by a Jewish Space Laser ™.