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Just Headlines

One-line stories for the on-the-go reader and the lazy writer

Man regrets farting on office chair after it becomes sentient

Coup at Minnesota dog pound leaves workers leashed, begging for kibble

Liberal in Iowa dreams of someday living in a blue state like Georgia

Rudy Giuliani didn’t realize staffer was kidding about dyeing his hair via Sharpie

Wyoming still a state

Russian hackers fired after forgetting date of U.S. election

Stylist offering socially distant haircuts by attaching 2 x 4s to garden shears

Rudy Giuliani didn’t realize staffer was kidding when she said “Good job”

Vice-President Pence tries brown sugar in oatmeal, feels guilty

Student keeps leaving dictionary open to page that contains “butt”

St. Louis woman having a great 2020 just keeps it to herself

“Gone With the Wind 2: Give a Damn” begins filming

Justices haze Amy Coney Barrett by making her read Brown V Board of Education

opinion after chugging a bottle of Jagermeister

Trump digs secret bunker under the Rose Garden; tells Eric, Don Jr., “there’s only room enough for one of you”

Rudy Giuliani didn’t realize


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