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Foreskins it is!

WASHINGTON--The Washington Foreskins are ready for some football.

The NFL franchise in the nation's capital unveiled a new, surprising nickname Monday after abandoning the previous mascot -- you know the one -- that the team had used for 87 years. The team had been under intense pressure to change the previous name for many years, but the team's new direction is sure to ruffle some fluffers...I mean feathers.

In 2013, principal owner Daniel Snyder said the media could "print it in all caps" that he wasn't ever going to change the previous name which many felt was a slur aimed at Native Americans. He struck a different tune during a hastily called press conference.

"You want an offensive name, I'll give you an offensive name you PC jerks!" Snyder said. "We also considered the Washington (expletive deleted), the (expletive deleted), the (probably an expletive but not one we'd heard before, deleted) and the Beckys. And you think that's bad, here's the new logo!"

A banner dropped from the ceiling, revealing an image that caused ESPN to cut away from its live coverage and return to the 47th airing of "The Last Dance." Those in the room were then treated to a brief dance routine with four team cheerleaders and Flappie, Washington's new mascot.

Rep. Tom Cole of Oklahoma, one of four Native Americans serving in Congress, was in attendance.

"Is that a...oh, God. Why?" Cole said as he turned away from the scene. "I'm glad they got rid of the, you know, but this is just gross."

Snyder did not take questions but as he stormed out of the room he shouted, "It's a sad day for America when a white man with a lot of money can't decide what is offensive."


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