Donald Trump reveals perfect NCAA bracket

The Free State of Mar-A-Lago—At a press conference Tuesday morning, former President Donald Trump claimed to have filled out a perfect NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament bracket. He pulled a folded sheet of paper out of his pocket, with team names filled out in black Sharpie, revealing the correct winners of all 67 tournament games.


“It’s amazing. Nobody’s ever seen anything like it,” Trump said.


The ink appeared to be slightly smudged, as if it weren’t completely dry, but nonetheless showed Kansas prevailing over North Carolina in the final.


“I picked only states that voted for me, which actually would have been all of them had the Democrats not stolen so many votes,” he said.


When a reporter asked about Pennsylvania-based Villanova, which made the Final Four, Trump said, “I’d never pick a team from Pennsylvania. They betrayed me.”


Moments after Eric Trump whispered something in his father’s ear, the elder Trump said, “Of course I picked them to go to the Fatal Four (pause for another Eric whisper later) Final Four, yes, of course. Villanova is a great city. Lovely people there.”


Trump was also asked about a series of posts on his new social media platform, the name of which few can remember, in which the former president over the past three weeks picked Kentucky, Tennessee, Arkansas, Montana, Alaska, Oklahoma, Oklahoma City, “The Spurs”, covfefe, Q U, Duke, North Carolina, and then Kansas to win the championship, Trump said, “What about the time Crooked Hilary said the Bears would win the Super Bowl and they never did!?”


He continued.


“Congrats to the Kansas Wildcats on a tremendous victory, and who knows, by the time you schedule your White House visit, I might be back there!” Trump said.


Also reporting a perfect bracket on Tuesday, North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, Bernie Madoff, and Randy Billingsworth of Dekalb, Ill. who won one of the 237,419 online pools he entered.


“NAILED IT,” Billingsworth proclaimed on Twitter.

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