Children’s author irked his book isn’t banned

St. Charles, Mo.—Nick Cameron’s debut book has sold reasonably well the past year though it hasn’t been a huge success. The children’s book Tommy’s Mommies tells the tale of an eight-year-old boy, Tommy, and his parents – a gay couple named Tamara and Tiffany. Cameron’s agent, Minnie Fullerton, recently made an off-handed comment that, “Wouldn’t it be great if some school board banned your book. Sales would go through the roof!”


Since then, Cameron has frankly been a little offended that no such action has been taken.


“I didn’t really write it to be political or anything. I grew up with a single mom, and so it was weird when other kids would ask about my dad. I feel I can identify, at least a little, with Tommy,” Cameron said. “I just wanted to show a loving couple who is raising a son but, yeah, I figured some people would have a problem with that.”


The book depicts Tamara and Tiffany taking Tommy to school, playing with their pet poodle, and going on a vacation to the Grand Canyon.


“I asked him if he wanted me to draw Tamara and Tiffany holding hands or hugging, but he said ‘no’ ” illustrator Rose Hamlin said, “If only we’d had them scissoring.”


Cameron said he initially didn’t think about sales, but lately he’s become obsessed.

“I really don’t want to work as a loan officer any longer than I have to, so I tried to manufacture some controversy,” Cameron said.


First, Cameron did an internet search for terms like “concerned parents” or “God’s wrath” and contacted those groups about buying his book just to see how subversive it was. Then he set up a fake Twitter account @PatriotPete72 to begin attacking his own work.


“Can’t believe @AuthorNickCameron expects us to reed this FILTH! Must protestt now! #NotInMySchool #SaveOurKidsread his first post.


“Just learn that schools right here in Mizzou are assigning “Tommy’s Mommies ($19.95, Little Brown)” to our kids! Parents are gay! And act so Normal. That’s what makes em Dangerous!” Read his second.


“I even put in some misspellings. That seemed on brand, but I hardly got any likes,” Cameron said. “The only direct message came from some guy who said he agreed with me then asked if I wanted to buy his Chevy Tahoe.”


Cameron even hired an actor to go on Joe Rogan’s podcast to talk about how the book had turned honor roll students into cocaine snorting ANTIFA activists but he was bumped for a guest who claimed to have evidence that Joe Biden was also born in Kenya.


“I asked the guy if he could go on the show the next day but he had to pose as this woman’s husband he could drive her home after her colonoscopy,” Cameron said. “I can’t catch a break.”


Cameron said he was already working on his follow-up book, Tommy’s Mommies Perform Abortions and Confiscate Guns.

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