Gay storyline in “Stranger Things” causes outrage

The internet and cable news have been abuzz the past few days after the revelation that one of the characters in the sci-fi series “Stranger Things” is gay.

In the series’ penultimate episode, which was released on Christmas Day, the character of Will Byers comes out to his family and friends, who, to the horror of many, continue to love and support him.

“I’m not watching the final episode! I can’t believe (show creators) the Duffer Brothers would cram their ideology down America’s throat!” read the first post on the newly created sub-Reddit “Gayer Things”.

“Can’t 11 just fix him?” asked another.

“This just comes out of nowhere,” read a third. “Sure, Robin (played by Maya Hawke) is a lesbian but I let that slide because she’s kinda hot and so is that nurse she’s into, but this goes too far!”

Sean Hannity devoted the entire hour of his TV show, two hours of his radio show, and seven hours of his podcast to the topic. While other networks carried coverage of America’s slow rolling war on Venezuela, Hannity put his viewers’ focus squarely where it needed to be.

“And do pull this stunt on Jesus’ birthday; unacceptable!” He shouted.

When asked for comment, Vice-President JD Vance said that the administration would “get to the bottom of this” once it’s done done eliminating health care subsidies and tearing down the White House.

“Stranger Things” final episode is scheduled to be released on New Year’s Eve, but at least a few proud Americans won’t be watching.

“This show started out as wonderful family entertainment, where demonic forces terrorize, abduct, torture, and murder teenagers all while the American military is complicit in these acts of violence, but now the show has become tawdry,” conservative author Michael Medved said.